Our NICU journey: month 1

The first few days:

Shane and I went down and saw them the day after I delivered. I remember thinking they were so very tiny! Watching Timber (baby b) was so exciting! We thought Baby A was the mover and the active one but after watching Timber, we knew it was her all along! It was so neat watching how she
kicked and moved because it's exactly what I felt!

The second day was tough! Very, very tough! Timber got down to 1 lb 5 oz! She looked terrible! Her skin was so thin and you could see every single rib! She tried crying but you couldn't hear her because she was on the ventilator. We went home late that afternoon......going home without your babies sure is heartbreaking!

June 20....., yes, one week after they were born, we finally got to hold Timber! She was itty bitty!! When we hold the babies, it's called Kangaroo Care. They must be held skin to skin-just like a little kangaroo pouch! Tinley got her first blood transfustion today-which surprised us b/c we thought she'd do much better than Timber since Timber was the one being deprived of blood and nutrients.

They have started to develop personalities and it's so neat to watch! I think Timber will be the relaxed, calm baby and Tinley will be just the opposite just like her momma! Timber is pretty calm during her diaper changes and temp checks. Tinley likes to "throw a fit" when the nurses mess with her! Our "fit throwing" is so very diffferent than most babies. They can't cry with their vents in, so their way of showing us they don't like something is by "dropping their sats" and their heartrate elevating.

Tests & Possible Complications:

They start telling us about all the tests they run and complications we may face. Breathing problems, heart problems, brain bleeds, infections, anemia, vision problems. I had good hopes of getting out of here with 2 healthy babies, but after they've told you all that can go wrong, you begin to wonder, how can you escape with no complications! It seems nearly impossible!
I start reading about some of it and freak myself out! Now I refuse to really even listen very closely b/c I really don't want to even know unless it is affecting us.

When they are 1 week we, they start getting head ultrasounds to see if there's any bleeding in the brain. Timer's comes out normal, but Tinley looks as though she has a Grade 2 brain bleed on one side. The dr's tell us not to worry, usually these fix themselves, if it was a grade 3 or 4, we would need to be more worried. The following week, they tell us a Grade 2 on one side and a Grade 3 on the other. Discouraging news, but we can handle this. Week 3, the brain bleed is now a Grade 3 on both sides. So many questions and unknowns now! And we won't know what, if any, long term effects she'll have. Or if the bleeding has even stopped! We'll have one more big ultrasound July 16.
Brain bleeds happen in premies b/c the in their blood vessels aren't fully developed and are very fragile. As babies get older, the blood vessels grow stronger.

July 8-they have their first vision tests for ROP (retinopathy of prematurity). ROP is improper growth of the blood vessels on the retina-when babies are born early, the blood vessels may begin to grow so quickly that the growth damages the retina. We PASS the first test!! They begin to test every week to make sure things are okay. 

July 12-the doctor calls me early, early in the morning and says they have started Tinley on antibiotics, she looks as though she may have an infection. He calls her "lethargic" and "very weak." The day is choas! Nurses, the doctor, and the respiratory therapist are gathered at her incubator checking blood gases, doing chest xrays, checking her tummy, pumping her full of fluids b/c she hasn't urinated at all-just all kinds of madness!  She's put on a different breating machine called an oscillator (??)-that basically keeps her lungs open all the time. Her heartrate is off the charts-200+ and many times 220-230! Normal is 160-180 for her. Hardest day here so far! So scary b/c obviously with this much attention, she's very, very sick!

Our "temporary home"

We moved a camping trailer in the parking lot of Mercy. Let's just say-living is tight! The first couple of weeks we couldn't get the fridge or hot water to work without tripping the breaker. We were showering in the family waiting room....not fun!! And trying to keep breast milk cold at night with no working fridge was getting old! Thankfully, we have fixed the problem now. We decided to bring Ruffin up. It's been nice having him-we'll take him walking around The Greens and play in the parking lot. Gives us a break from that tiny camper and the crazy hospital room!